From the Forum of GMP

The Gophuramungus.com forum has been a bit of a disappointment to some members of our little "cell". I don't know what I was expecting really, (I was one of the disappointed ones, in case you wondered when I switched person there) because almost everyone knows forums are basically shit. Blogs are pretty shit too, I have to admit, but I haven't finished dissin' forums yet.

Because of my tremendous/admirable/pathetic geekishness [delete as appropriate], I used to be part of this forum-based "game" online. Before long I realised that it was actually a bit wank; nobody ever had anything original or interesting to say and they actually took the game really, really seriously. This made them easy to irritate/antagonise/infuriate [delete as appropriate] and thus began my "troll" days, a hobby more addictive than smoking crack with hookers on a beach, playing poker. My problem with forums of any kind is that people either take themselves far too seriously and don't have a sense of humour, or they degrade into total, spewing nonsese with posts like: "Hi everyone" and "Later Everyone" and all the same shit all the time with no thought of spelling, punctuation, sentence construction, vocabulary, creativity, imaginative ideas, inspiring themes. No: they just post threads like: "What's the weirdest thing you've ever put up your butt?"

So it was a pleasant surprise to me to find the following forum post in the GMP section, and it has inspired me to begin a campaign for a better class of forum use and abuse, the GophuraMungus Productions Solution, or GMPS (or "gimps").

On with the post:

Thread:

Blueberry pancakes
Do they cure herpes?

Response:
>do they cure herpes?

What kind of a question is that? I googled bluberry pancakes and "herpes and all I found was an article http://www.knbc.com/health/15157292/detail.html about how to convince children to eat healthier food. Unless you mean than somehow not having herpes is a kind of cultural trait, picked up by healthy children in their youth? Is that what you mean? Cos that's kind of an elaborate question and I think one which should be examined in close detail. Herpes can be a lifestyle affliction, brought about by people who are somewhat more flexible about what they allow to come into contact with their mouths or reproducive organs. By feeding children blueberry pancakes for breakfast, are we reducing their number of sick days, hence marginally increasing the chances that they take on board a little more of what was taught to them in Sexual Education class? Quite possibly, Holly, quite possibly.