Working here is like being forced to sit at the retard table in your high school cafeteria.

you know the table I mean; there's the kid with at least one nostril (usually both) plugged with large round beads of bright green snot. There's stink-kid; who smells like frying onions mixed with used jockstrap. There's acne-girl, braces-boy and a handful of really slow, inbred looking wretches who have no idea where they are or how they get there.

It's like that here. I look around the main office bit (thankfully separated from our own little hovel back here) and I am disgusted by what I see. I see a room full of people who voluntarily come here day in, day out. They eat their fast food, talk about roads ("A271? Great bit of road that") and cars ("I got that new body kit mate, it's well tasty") and gross profit ("Yeah, we cleared £2500 last week so I'm just hoping we'll be . They are the ugliest, most miserable and unambitious group of people I have ever had to spend time with -I catch myself thinking this and then have to remind myself that I work here, what's the difference between me and them?

here's what:

• I have never had sex with any of my immediate family.
• I have never had sex with an animal, not even my own pets.
• I do not find Big Brother, Coronation Street or X Factor entertaining.
• I do not read red-tops.
• I do not eat McDonald's, KFC or burger king.
• I do not drive a sooped-up 2 litre beamer.
• I do not take two week package holidays (and if I did, I would not spend the entire time in the resort hotel.)
• I do not get out of breath when performing low-effort activities (like talking).

I know, I'm a snob, right? Well, if being a snob means I object to all of the above and do not wish to associate with these people, then snob I must be.

but this is business; and business is business.

Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean.