From:[anonymous]@yahoo.co.uk
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Category: Jobs Offered
Region: The Hague

1 -- PROFESSIONAL help for breaking through a wall (house renovation)

Renovation of appartment in The Hague (Scheveningen area). We need professional help during period August 4th to August 20th for:

- breaking through a wall
- plumbing work

Please contact us by email ONLY if you are a professional for this type of work and have previous experience.
All other type of renovation work - painting etc... - is already taken care of by a small army of helpers, thus we really only need specialist advise for the above jobs.

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Hello!

I am a professional for this types of work!

I am available right now!

I have broken through many walls. I was once in my tractor and I had been drinking heavily for many nights. I did not concentrate extremely well and before I knew it: "kapow!" I had broken through my first wall.

Since then it has very much been becoming "my thing". If you can provide me with a big vehicle, I will be able to get rid of your wall so quickly that you will begin to forget you ever had a wall in the first places!!!

You say "plumbing work" but I think you mean "painting wall". "Plumb" is a kind of fruit. I do not think you need me to put fruit on your wall! Ha ha ha. Anyways, you say "plumb work" AFTER you say "remove wall" -what difference would it make to you if there were plumbs on the wall which is no longer a part of your home? It does not make sense and you should be being the one that is ashamed of himself.

You say other renovation work is being taken care of by the army. May I suggest that you use either my services as I am very much and expertly in these things, or at least use the proper tradespeople. The army will make a lot of noise and they are not in trained for these kinds of thing.

Anyway: HIRE ME! I promise I will not interfere with your wife/girlfriend/sons/daughters -I am not even allowed to work near to the children now so you know they will be safe. But please keep them away from me while I work because I am dangerous with the house-smashing and also I like to drink the beers when I am house smashing which helps me to get through the day but is not good for the horn so I am even more dangerous- like a double-whammy!

Write back to me now or I will make terrible things come to be in your face.

AJ