The Troll Continued

Yahoo Answers, Part 2

OK, I`m still having a great deal of fun with Yahoo Answers. (Or Artemis Jones is, rather). I know it`s incredibly childish, but I`m trying to work out which types of questions get the most responses.

I discovered that people will believe almost anything, but the more realistic you try to make your question sound, the more likely people are to give detailed answers.

Here`s one I asked which got lots of responses:

Should I Tell Him?
OK, I badly need help on this one. A few years ago I slept with my brother`s wife when he was out of town. We were both really, really drunk and I regret it a lot. The thing is, she had a baby and she told me that the timing doesn`t work for it to be his and therefore the son who my brother and my sister-in-law are raising as there own, is actually mine. Should I tell him?

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-People were outraged. Fully outraged, they called me all kinds of names and offered all kinds of advice, most of which involved me having to confess to my appalling sins.

I was intrigued by the amount of interest generated by ethical questions, so I thought I””””d try another:

This next one is a little dark, but got a lot of outraged responses (tee hee).

Did I do anything wrong?
This is a tricky one: I had a big argument with my girlfriend a few weeks ago and she stormed out of the house and didn””””t call me for a few days. When she came back, she confessed to having slept with one of my friends while she””””d been away and I got so angry that I shut her out. Later on, when it was dark, I cut the brake-fluid line in her car. I don””””t know what I was thinking, but she had a fairly non-serious accident the next day and broke her wrist. Did I actually do anything wrong?

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I felt a little cruel posting this one, actually, until I remembered that Artemis, his girlfriend, her car and his crime are ALL FICTIONAL. So what did it matter? I also convinced myself that this is all in the name of sociology and experimentation, so it”’’s all fair game.

My favourite response to this one was:

You probably don””t think so, but you did do the irrational thing. I understand that you shut her out because she cheated on you with one of your mates, and that must have hurt. But you made a bad decision by cutting the brake-fluid line. You were just lucky she wasn””t seriously hurt or else you would feel terrible and guilty. It is this sort of irrational behaviour that causes alot of accidents nowadays. Just remeber “think before you act”. Next time you consider doing something silly like this, think about what the consequences are (e.g. someone getting hurt). Hope this helps.

OK, so I was on a roll. People liked questions of ethics and internet users have a lot to say about people behaving appallingly. How would they feel about this question then?

Is it Illegal?
I went out with a girl recently and had a great time. At the end of the date, I went back to her place for a coffee and at the risk of being crude, we fully got it on; all night. I really enjoyed it, but when I got up she left a note which said: “Hi AJ, thanks for a great night, sorry I had to leave. Please let yourself out. This should cover it…” and she””d left £50!!! Does this make me some kind of male hooker? Did I do wrong taking the money? Please help, I””m really confused.

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A lot of people responded to this one and more people than ever knew it wasn`t true. It;s a shame that they can`t keep this to themselves though, as it might have deterred others from posting their opinions. However, it didn`t deter this guy:

I don””t know if its legal or illegal, but if it was me. I would be going to a doctor and have myself checked out for VD, or AIDS. Haven””t you learned not to go to bed with someone you don””t know. I Believe she”’’s the hooker, but I would be worried about my body. You don””t know what she may have?

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Right, moving on. I knew now that I had to focus on making things sound as realistic as possible or else people would just post “You`re lying” comments under all my questions. So I had a think and came up with this one:

How Should I Feel About This?
I was at a party recently and there was a massive bowl of punch there. Everyone was having a great time (it was fancy dress) and drinking a lot of punch, when a friend of mine put about six tabs of really strong LSD into the punch and told me not to tell anyone. I don””t do narcotics, so I didn””t touch the punch but lots of other people there went on drinking it and one or two of them totally freaked out and didn””t know what was going on. My friend thought this was really funny, but I don””t really know if it was: I can””t help but feel there was something a little bit morally wrong with what he did; like it was maybe a bit unethical. Or am I being a prude? What do you think?

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This one is another pretty dark little story, but very few people thought it was untrue. My favourite response:

i think the friend was a jerk,and some people dont do lsd cause it can kill them,next time i would spread around dont drink the punch,peace

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But that wasn`t as funny, it simply wasn`t that funny. I needed something which would be funny, but sound realistic. Then I had a stroke of genius and posted the question which got more than 30 hits in its first five minutes of being online:

What Should I Do About My Girlfriend?
I recently came home from work early to find my girlfriend watching a video file containing adult content. I was really shocked, especially since the content in question involved several women and a large horse. She was really embarrassed and later admitted that it”’’s something that really interests her and she wants to try and explore this interest with me at some point. I love her, but I don””t know how to feel about this. Please help! What should I do?

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Fewer people than you might expect thought this was a lie.

My favourite answer?

Tell her to start off with a pony and work her way up to a horse, but you don””t have sex with farm animals, only house pets.

until next time amigos.

FG AKA AJ