Phone Games #2

So this unknown guy/girl who made me paranoid is receiving yet more text messages from my colleagues” phones.

To yesterday’’s prank we received a text back, which read “WTF?!”

So I approached colleague number two and borrowed his phone, sending this li”l beauty:

“Hey man, you going to be about this weekend? We”re all going up the bridge, you-know-who has a big bag of you-know-what for us. X”

The reply: “Yeah sure. Why not. Who the fuck is this?”

To which we replied: “Im a little offended that you don”t have my number, buddy.”

His/her response: “So am I. Who r u b4 I run out of credit. And what bridge?X”

Then I sent this text from a different number: “Hey babe. I really miss u, I love bein woke up like that u give gr8 hed. Jane was askin after u an I said id not seen u since the crash. That ok? X c u 2night maybe?”

Before replying to the bridge question with: “I think I might have the wrong number- who is this please?”

His/her response to that number was: “Ha. Nice try Mister X (he/she put my actual initial). Should I expect the same charade from the other numbers too?”

Cunning motherfucker. I was rumbled. Still, fight the good fight and all that.

We replied: “That makes no sense, what are you on about?”

No reply as yet.

But by this time the bastard had already sent ME the following text, to my own mobile: “I can”t wait till you get home. I hope you like surprises.”

So I looked up withholding phone numbers from landlines (it’’s 141 before you enter the whole number, by the way) and called them from my work phone. It was, as I suspected, a man; but I can”t tell which one, since the voice had been sillyfied. I let him say “hello” a few times and after 23 seconds of silence on my end he hung up. Burn.

Then I texted this from my own phone (playing innocent, you know?):

“Hey there. I don”t know if I told you this, but my old phone was stolen and I lost all of my contacts. Since I”m in the process of moving house at the moment (a lie, I”m not) I find it highly unlikely that you”ve located my new address and whatever surprises may or may not be waiting for me at the old place are the letting agency’’s problem now, not mine. Reveal your identity.”

This could be a stalemate. Maybe I should just take a permanent marker into various local toilets and advertise the cell number as “hot text love available here” or something.

Watch this space. If the person in question is reading this, then I guess you”ve seen my whole hand now; but know this. I will not rest until your body is suspended on a spike at the entrance to my fortress.